was streaming the stoke match this arvo, crystal palace, knock at me back door. old hag stinking of tarmac holding summit in her dirty paws. old hag says: excuse me sir.., would sir like byes sums lucky heather?! bring u luck and good fortune sir!? ..,if u wud only cross my dirty hand with 30 pieces of silver ? will ye ? pls? u will! u will?! pls!
i says: look duck.., bit busy. just streaming the stoke match. we’re 1 nil down .1st 15 mins! if u dunner mind.., not rite now ?!?
sir! if only u cud? please sir! u will! u will! u will! she insists.., ur fortunes will improve MOST dramatically for the better my love.., once the lucky heather is yours! u will?! u will!
so as not to incur one of thems there infamous Gypo curses.., i did infact purchase a small bud of lucky heather from the ode irish hag. puttin me hand in my empty pockets, or, so I thought, and pulled out 57p in beer change, unbelievably, as i thought i was skinters, not a penny from me Friday nite beer change i never knew i had and crossed that old Irish knackers palm with a single silver fifty pence piece (equivalent to lucky for Yankees half a silver $) and bronzen copers amounting to seven pence:-two 2ps and 3 single 1 pence pennys from heaven as she so insistingly demanded or pre-requested slamming the door, rather abrutely, in ‘er ugly ode face. then, went watch the rest of the stoke game.
as I sat down stoke suddenly scored 1- 1. one all! we equalised! then, again minutes later! as i held this so called lucky heather in my palm. F.! I thought to meself..,Is this summit do with this lucky heather i did indeed purchase from that ode irish hag?!!! the self proclaimed lucky as f. as a seventh son of a seventh son ode Irish knacker!?? seems we on top nah! brilliant!. then we scored again!!!! moments ltr! 3 – 1!!!! F.! this shite really workz? or, is it just bcoz of all the evil tainted money from bet365 we’ve gone 3 in one up??!?
as I pondered these thoughts 4a wee while.., there’s this second knock at me back door at the back of the house.
as i approached the back door once more for the second time there’s this very strong smell of tarmac again enimating from all around me. and there she woz again, stood.there., ode gypsy rose lee (the ode toothless Irish knacker from whom I’d 30 minutes ago purchased a small bud of her so called lucky heather).
stood there she says:
your change sir?!
handing me, unbelievably..,me change!
It’s only 50p a bud of lucky heather sir not 57p! said she.
Well! blow me down?! cheers me duck! who’d av guessed it! u! and me change! thanks very much shug! respect! God bless ya! You Irish pikey toothless old ugly hag.
Nah, get lost!
Then, as suddenly as she had appeared earlier, evaporated into thin air or like smoke enimating from a whakey backy bucket bong!